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Old 11-21-2015, 12:10 PM   #1
dkelly
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NJ--Interested in Potentially Revoking Adoption

Alright, so this is a fairly long story, but I will try to make it as simple as possible.

First, I would like to state that I am posting this on behalf of my sister, and this does not technically involve me.

My sister and her husband were drug users for a time, and upon being caught their children, justifiably, were taken by DYFS (child protective services). They have three children: two girls, and a boy--the boy has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy and has autism, so he is very difficult to handle.
Originally my sister's husband's mother wanted to take all three of the children despite my mother offering to take the two girls--my brother-in-law's mom's reasoning was that she wanted to keep the children together, and DYFS agreed, so she was deemed the foster parent. Ironically, several of her children (she has 10 and, if I am not mistaken, 6 or 7 of them were living with her at the time) were actively using drugs...in addition to this, her husband was also using drugs while the children were in the house. She was forced to evict her husband because I believe he was also deemed a threat to the children sexually.
To make a long story short, after a few months of the three children living with my brother-in-law's mom, she took it upon herself to contact DYFS and they agreed to relocate the two girls (without contacting my mom, their biological grandmother who originally offered to foster them) to a new home. They were given, behind my mom's and their biological parents' backs, to my brother-in-law's brother and wife. This is where they remain.
Over the course of a few years, my sister has separated from her husband and has 3 years of sobriety under her belt, her own house with her fiance, and a job. However, the couple currently fostering my nieces decided to pursue full-adoption instead of a program that would reintegrate the children back with their biological mother. I believe it is also important to understand that these children are currently 11, 9, and 7--my two nieces are the older children--so they have not been raised since birth. While my nephew will be permanently given back to my sister in a month or so, my nieces have since been adopted by the couple. Although both parents voluntarily gave up their parental rights, they had a public defender who told them "I have never won a case before, and there is no chance I will win this one," in addition to the couple telling them that they had "no chance in hell," and that they would never give them back, thus forcing her to sign over her parental rights.
Her children now visit her and my mother once per month if they are not being "punished" by their adoptive parents, and every single time they visit my nieces complain of how unhappy they are there, and how they wish they could stay with their biological mom. In addition to this, we recently found out that the couple that has adopted them was bribing my oldest niece not to attend therapeutic visits with her biological parents. DYFS allowed my niece to make that decision for herself...she was 9~10 at the time. Now they are forcing the two girls to call them mom and dad, and when my nieces object they are punished.

Also, kind of a side question, but they currently have 4 children (2 of their own, and my 2 nieces), 3 adults, and a menagerie of animals living in a 3 bedroom home...isn't it illegal to room a little boy with a grown woman in NJ?

...they also don't buy my nieces proper clothes that fit them, or for the weather.

I guess what I am asking is, is there anything that can be done to change this?
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Old 11-21-2015, 01:09 PM   #2
AFFA
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Default Re: NJ--Interested in Potentially Revoking Adoption

I wish to inform you that in matters regarding child custody generally best interest of child will determine child custody. Your sister may seek child custody based upon fact that her current guardian is not able to take care of child. Your sister may take action as she is biological parent thus she may seek child custody.

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Old 11-21-2015, 04:46 PM   #3
130smartchick
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Default Re: NJ--Interested in Potentially Revoking Adoption

You do not specify how long the children were out of the mothers home. Children only have one shot at growing up and cannot wait for their parents to get it together.

She signed a voluntary termination of her rights. She was neither forced not obligated to do so. She could have refused, and forced a hearing. She could have obtained a different attorney.

The people who adopted the children are now legally their mother and father. They have every right to expect to be addressed as such.

As to the living arrangements, if you are truly concerned for the children's welfare contact child services.
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