I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

[greenesl]

Hi my name is summer and i live in virginia. I'm 17 and am fed up with my mom scaring me and using her little mind game and threats on me!!! I can remember times through out my life where she was either yelling at me for no reason, downing me, bad mouthing my dads family, calling me names, etc. Here are some of the things i have been called or stuff that was hurtful when said and why: "*****"- because i bought a frilly skirt from hot-topic that was like 2-3 inches longer than the mini skirt SHE BOUGHT ME! "you need to change your style, because you can't fit what you wana wear"- she wanted me to buy jeans..and thanks to genetics i have weird hips..., "your just mad because he didnt want you!"- because i didnt want to go to her church, the guy that used to like me was there, i did not like him, he forced me to kiss him or he'd drive off the road (lifted his hands from steering wheel), "free labor"- because she sent me to PH-Girls and boys home and they make us clean all the time! so she told my granny to use me if her house was dirty. After that was said i made a joke about my memory span she said "well then why do you want to go to college"- she basically called me stupid. I threw up when i was little becuase she made me eat something i changed my mind about and said "Great! just Great! now i can't go to work!"- is work really more important than your childs well being? (im really sorry if it sounds like im over exagerating and for the length of this post..but im tired and hurt and i cant take it anymore) My mother constantly works!, thats all she cares about is money! no joke! she acts fake infront of co-workers and her relatives also! she goes around telling people how bad i am! When i was first sent to the girls home, like the day i was leaving to go there, she unpluged and hid every phone in the house! she didnt want anyone knowing where i was! Then, after being there a couple months, i had to go see her about medication (for deppression, im off it now..and i feel better and very happy off of it...it made me feel worse!) she said "if someone comes up to you and asked why you quit work, tell them because of your grades"....really?..you want me to lie about where YOU sent me. Honestly i have no reason to be in a girls home, ive had a bunch of our house parents say the same thing. She sent me there so my granny could not obtain custody or see me. Im a walking pay check/ revenge for her. thats all i am. Recently (this is the main reason im writing now) she has threatnd me for asking could i leave the girls home on graduation. (i grad. on may 26th, i turn 18 Aug. 9th this year) i cannot leave without her permission! so i asked nicely...and she said i have to stay for 2 years...i corrected her and said, "no..i only have to stay for one school year, i could leave anytime now"...she replyed "No, im not paying $200 a day that your not there, do you want me to finish apps. your being ungrateful".......HOW WAS I BEING UNGRATEFUL!!!! (by the way, apps. are my college applications...i wana go so me and my fiance can have a nice life...) IVE BEEN HER ALMOST 2 YEARS!!! me wanting to leave all the stress and drama i gotta live with behind is ungrateful? thats not the first time shes threatnd me with something since ive been in PH, i asked her before and she said "do you want to lose your phone?" in PH you turn your phone in and it can be taken, thats the only privilage i have there. ...she threatns me when she dosent have an answer. Ive tried to be emancipated! but my G.A.L said i cant because im there aginst my will! Ive also recollected on 2 incidents that i think my privacy was broken. I had to speak to ..either a dective..or..idk what he was, he was in the police station..anyway..i specifically asked "will my mom know what i say?" he said no...he had a camera in there the whole time, she heard EVERYTHING i said about her and watched me!!! the second incident was i was in Krise 6, this was when i was cutting myself, she sent me there not telling me where i was going (she thought i was gonna kill myself because she was nosey and went under my bed and rummeged through my stuff..) when i was in there, they asked questions about how i felt etc. and i told them...asking "my mom wont find out any of this, right?" they said no......so i told them how she was, what had gone on through the years, how much i disliked her and how she needed counciling..not me.. Well...the next year, i pissed her off when i lied to her and she went on a yelling rampage and went out side and got a briefcase and told me to sit down, she opened it and read aloud, everything i said about her at krise 6...she told me she bought it for $50...she went on about how ungrateful, and crazy i was... On another occasion, she beat me with a belt (i was 15) beatings dont really phase me...but she hit harder and harder saying "I wana hear you cry! if you dont ill hit harder!" so my first instinct was to cry because i was freaking scared!! she has also jerked me off the bed by my ankle before when she was mad at me. Ive been in a court oppionted cousleing thing for like..2..3 years now..when i had to have 'family counseling' with mom she constantly, verbally bashed me to the lady, smiling and making me seem like a horrible child..everytime id go to talk to say she was lieing she cut me off, BUT when my counsleor started to tell her what she needed to work on, she got mad and wouldnt come back in, thats not her first time stomping out a counseling session...and the worst part is, everytime i go somewhere and she hears what i say about her, trying to get justice, IT NEVER WORKS! i have to go back home with her, or get punished!!! or yelled or called names for trying to get away!!

Im very, very sorry my stuff is so scattered! ..im at school trying to type this in my limited time....could someone please try to help me or give me information about what i should do...i could go on about the stuff ive been through and how badly ive wanted to die because of her..but ive wrote ALOT already, Thank you if your respond or read...

[AFFA]

re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

I wish to inform you that you can have emancipation from court. It is the process after which minor is not under the control of the guardian. In this regard you will have to show to court that your mother acts are such which affects your well being. Court is guided by the best interest of child while determining matters related to child. Further you will have to show that you can independently support yourself so that you do not require your mother support.

AFF

[Unregistered]

I've just read your well question and the story has really touched me as I have family problems that's how I've come across your story tonight, always pray to god, I wish I could help more but I'm a bit limited to ideas as I live in the UK and don't know the laws and help you can receive. Maybe your local church could help you find a safe place to stay, or you could try relatives maybe your granma who your mother is keeping you away from. you'll always be in my prayers, I hope your safe tonight, your story has got me emotional

[Unregistered]

My mum keeps hitting me for no reason but if u try to go with her flow she will start calming down and eventually forget about hurting u and let u do ur on thing

[Friend In Court]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

This woman needs to be turned into Child Protective Services for the abuse, the beatings, the psychological and emotional damage she is doing. Other living arrangements can be made so this girl can complete her schooling and live in peace.

With college plans in the wind, she needs to complete her education and focus on getting on to college so she has a bright future. Emancipation is never a good option, unless a minor is a rock star. For our society requires a good education now, college degree if at all possible, if one is to get a decent job to support onesself. Dropping out and into the job market as a minor will leave one with the prospect of flipping burgers or other minimum wage jobs for the rest of their natural life!

[freya denby]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

Your story made me cry it really did i would help you right now if i could i feel so sorry for you. A real mother would not abuse her children or make them her slaves and from what i have read your mother is using you as her toy. You must call the police if you got a phone or go to a police station and tell someone about what's been happening. Also tell one of your teachers and tell the Headteacher/Principal or just maybe ask your Headteacher/Principal(I'm not sure what you call the person who is in charge of a school) to help . If you have any friends tell them and tell them to tell their parents. True friends will listen to your situations and will try to help. I might post your story on other websites so everyone will know but i won't if you don't want me too just tell me. Sorry if this is too long for you to read

I have been pushed around before

[freya denby]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

Your story made me cry it really did i would help you right now if i could i feel so sorry for you. A real mother would not abuse her children or make them her slaves and from what i have read your mother is using you as her toy. You must call the police if you got a phone or go to a police station and tell someone about what's been happening. Also tell one of your teachers and tell the Headteacher/Principal or just maybe ask your Headteacher/Principal(I'm not sure what you call the person who is in charge of a school) to help . If you have any friends tell them and tell them to tell their parents. True friends will listen to your situations and will try to help. I might post your story on other websites so everyone will know but i won't if you don't want me too just tell me. Sorry if this is too long for you to read

I have been pushed around before

[freya denby]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

Your story made me cry it really did i would help you right now if i could i feel so sorry for you. A real mother would not abuse her children or make them her slaves and from what i have read your mother is using you as her toy. You must call the police if you got a phone or go to a police station and tell someone about what's been happening. Also tell one of your teachers and tell the Headteacher/Principal or just maybe ask your Headteacher/Principal(I'm not sure what you call the person who is in charge of a school) to help . If you have any friends tell them and tell them to tell their parents. True friends will listen to your situations and will try to help. I might post your story on other websites so everyone will know but i won't if you don't want me too just tell me. Sorry if this is too long for you to read

I have been pushed around before

[Friend In Court]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

Hi my name is summer and i live in virginia. I'm 17 and am fed up with my mom scaring me and using her little mind game and threats on me!!! I can remember times through out my life where she was either yelling at me for no reason, downing me, bad mouthing my dads family, calling me names, etc. Here are some of the things i have been called or stuff that was hurtful when said and why: "*****"- because i bought a frilly skirt from hot-topic that was like 2-3 inches longer than the mini skirt SHE BOUGHT ME! "you need to change your style, because you can't fit what you wana wear"- she wanted me to buy jeans..and thanks to genetics i have weird hips..., "your just mad because he didnt want you!"- because i didnt want to go to her church, the guy that used to like me was there, i did not like him, he forced me to kiss him or he'd drive off the road (lifted his hands from steering wheel), "free labor"- because she sent me to PH-Girls and boys home and they make us clean all the time! so she told my granny to use me if her house was dirty. After that was said i made a joke about my memory span she said "well then why do you want to go to college"- she basically called me stupid. I threw up when i was little becuase she made me eat something i changed my mind about and said "Great! just Great! now i can't go to work!"- is work really more important than your childs well being? (im really sorry if it sounds like im over exagerating and for the length of this post..but im tired and hurt and i cant take it anymore) My mother constantly works!, thats all she cares about is money! no joke! she acts fake infront of co-workers and her relatives also! she goes around telling people how bad i am! When i was first sent to the girls home, like the day i was leaving to go there, she unpluged and hid every phone in the house! she didnt want anyone knowing where i was! Then, after being there a couple months, i had to go see her about medication (for deppression, im off it now..and i feel better and very happy off of it...it made me feel worse!) she said "if someone comes up to you and asked why you quit work, tell them because of your grades"....really?..you want me to lie about where YOU sent me. Honestly i have no reason to be in a girls home, ive had a bunch of our house parents say the same thing. She sent me there so my granny could not obtain custody or see me. Im a walking pay check/ revenge for her. thats all i am. Recently (this is the main reason im writing now) she has threatnd me for asking could i leave the girls home on graduation. (i grad. on may 26th, i turn 18 Aug. 9th this year) i cannot leave without her permission! so i asked nicely...and she said i have to stay for 2 years...i corrected her and said, "no..i only have to stay for one school year, i could leave anytime now"...she replyed "No, im not paying $200 a day that your not there, do you want me to finish apps. your being ungrateful".......HOW WAS I BEING UNGRATEFUL!!!! (by the way, apps. are my college applications...i wana go so me and my fiance can have a nice life...) IVE BEEN HER ALMOST 2 YEARS!!! me wanting to leave all the stress and drama i gotta live with behind is ungrateful? thats not the first time shes threatnd me with something since ive been in PH, i asked her before and she said "do you want to lose your phone?" in PH you turn your phone in and it can be taken, thats the only privilage i have there. ...she threatns me when she dosent have an answer. Ive tried to be emancipated! but my G.A.L said i cant because im there aginst my will! Ive also recollected on 2 incidents that i think my privacy was broken. I had to speak to ..either a dective..or..idk what he was, he was in the police station..anyway..i specifically asked "will my mom know what i say?" he said no...he had a camera in there the whole time, she heard EVERYTHING i said about her and watched me!!! the second incident was i was in Krise 6, this was when i was cutting myself, she sent me there not telling me where i was going (she thought i was gonna kill myself because she was nosey and went under my bed and rummeged through my stuff..) when i was in there, they asked questions about how i felt etc. and i told them...asking "my mom wont find out any of this, right?" they said no......so i told them how she was, what had gone on through the years, how much i disliked her and how she needed counciling..not me.. Well...the next year, i pissed her off when i lied to her and she went on a yelling rampage and went out side and got a briefcase and told me to sit down, she opened it and read aloud, everything i said about her at krise 6...she told me she bought it for $50...she went on about how ungrateful, and crazy i was... On another occasion, she beat me with a belt (i was 15) beatings dont really phase me...but she hit harder and harder saying "I wana hear you cry! if you dont ill hit harder!" so my first instinct was to cry because i was freaking scared!! she has also jerked me off the bed by my ankle before when she was mad at me. Ive been in a court oppionted cousleing thing for like..2..3 years now..when i had to have 'family counseling' with mom she constantly, verbally bashed me to the lady, smiling and making me seem like a horrible child..everytime id go to talk to say she was lieing she cut me off, BUT when my counsleor started to tell her what she needed to work on, she got mad and wouldnt come back in, thats not her first time stomping out a counseling session...and the worst part is, everytime i go somewhere and she hears what i say about her, trying to get justice, IT NEVER WORKS! i have to go back home with her, or get punished!!! or yelled or called names for trying to get away!!

Im very, very sorry my stuff is so scattered! ..im at school trying to type this in my limited time....could someone please try to help me or give me information about what i should do...i could go on about the stuff ive been through and how badly ive wanted to die because of her..but ive wrote ALOT already, Thank you if your respond or read...

Yes, I have read and sympathize with your plight. Although it is only a year left to go before you are 18, that year can be hell for you and seem like an eternity!

UNLESS, you keep in touch with your counselor and come up with a strategy to keep out of her way and sight! For the beatings you need to report her to CPS, enlist the ear and help of your school counselor, talk with any adult that will listen to you -- and if necessary try to get yourself placed in a foster or friend's home.

Your school counselor will help, teachers will intervene. Every adult with whom you have any trust, tell them and in detail what is going on in your life. You need people backing and supporting you so you do not have to face her alone. If she hits you again, immediately call the police and report the assault.

You need an army, even a small one who takes your part. And involve yourself in some after school activity so you can minimize the hours at home.

[Disagreeable]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

You fell into a Necro trap FIC. Original OP is already 18. (I hate it when that happens to me)

[Unregistered]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

I have never replied to a post in my entire life. However, this is critical. I am 43 and my psychological, emotinal disturb mother totally ruined my life. She has contacted employers to have me fire lying stating that I have psychological issues. Since it is your mother, the employers may questioned my mental state. She has sabotaged relationships and everything so that she may control. Stay in prayer and watch your enemy closely, please try to relocate the first chance you get.

[Friend In Court]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

You fell into a Necro trap FIC. Original OP is already 18. (I hate it when that happens to me)

Sure did. [face just turned crimson].

Thanks for the catch.

[Unregistered]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

I can understand where you're coming from. I am from an EXTREMELY dysIunctional home. My parents were divorced, my father criminally insane and in an institution, and, probably due to her hard life, my mother was.... Not easy would be the polite way of putting it. She actually also hurt me on a couple of occasions.
I just learned to stay quiet, hang on in there, and talk to God. Now I am a survivor, and whilst I'll never be 'normal' per se, I am unique and a good person.

[Unregistered]

I know the feeling just as sombody else said go with the flow and if that doesn't work you can move out I moved out at 16 so you can cus ur 17

[Friend In Court]

Re: I am SCARED of my mother, am I being mentally abused?

You fell into a Necro trap FIC. Original OP is already 18. (I hate it when that happens to me)

Quite right you are. [Smacks typist].