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Old 01-22-2014, 08:40 PM   #1
jnsnams
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Default gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

Well I don't know where to start, I was young, 18 and met a girl and she ended up pregnant, she was involved with a military person I was not aware of and she and him wanted to adopt the child, she moved to new York with him because of military reasons. while at Fort Drum she sent me papers from her attorney's office, and I even spoke to him. I was advised to fill out the areas that had the green arrows and make a copy for myself and notarize it and send it back certified, it was like 20 something pages of stuff. While speaking to the lawyer he made sure I understand what I was doing and I agreed. One thing he made sure I understood is not to go looking for the child, call or bother or even try to check up on. I explained no problem he doesn't even know I am the dad, the other guy was there for everything and been with them the whole time. I agreed and moved on with my life. I moved from IL where I lived at the time to Oklahoma. She had since moved from new York to Hawaii I was advised by my dad as she contacted him one time to get family details because the child became ill. I never knew they talked or was never asked any questions on this. In fact I got notice at my job one day in 2011 asking for information from me from the state of Florida? It was brought to my attention and I quickly made a phone call to see what was going on. when the name came up I flipped and said I signed all the papers for adoption and followed the attorneys orders to never bother them, They state of Florida quickly got back to me and said what do you mean you filed for adoption. I sent them the forms I had and sign and notarized and sent back. I didn't hear from them for 2 years and last year I get served to go take a paternity test. I took the test and two weeks later I got a call for a court date in mid 2012. I show up and of course with an attorney thinking I was the stuff because I signed all that stuff ad the mother openly admitted to never paying the attorney the rest of them money for the adoption, openly stated she never tried to contact me, Never tried to file for support, never asked for help or even bothered to look for me. openly admitted to all this in child support court over the phone that. The child judge still awarded her 26,000.00 in arrears, and 400 a month. This as destroyed my family. I had married and have 4 kids of my own and have a house to pay for, It is rough as my wife is going to school because at the time of this we thought it was ok, I didn't have any expenses or anything like that and no we are barely making it. I have since requested the transcripts for this and filed a case in district court to see if I can over turn the arrears. See in Oklahoma they put this stuff on your credit and it has stopped me from getting loans, caused my card balances to be lowered with out being told making my bill more and my insurance change price. Seriously? How is this right and I have no idea what to do at this point.
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:57 PM   #2
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

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Originally Posted by jnsnams View Post
Well I don't know where to start, I was young, 18 and met a girl and she ended up pregnant, she was involved with a military person I was not aware of and she and him wanted to adopt the child, she moved to new York with him because of military reasons. while at Fort Drum she sent me papers from her attorney's office, and I even spoke to him. I was advised to fill out the areas that had the green arrows and make a copy for myself and notarize it and send it back certified, it was like 20 something pages of stuff. While speaking to the lawyer he made sure I understand what I was doing and I agreed. One thing he made sure I understood is not to go looking for the child, call or bother or even try to check up on. I explained no problem he doesn't even know I am the dad, the other guy was there for everything and been with them the whole time. I agreed and moved on with my life. I moved from IL where I lived at the time to Oklahoma. She had since moved from new York to Hawaii I was advised by my dad as she contacted him one time to get family details because the child became ill. I never knew they talked or was never asked any questions on this. In fact I got notice at my job one day in 2011 asking for information from me from the state of Florida? It was brought to my attention and I quickly made a phone call to see what was going on. when the name came up I flipped and said I signed all the papers for adoption and followed the attorneys orders to never bother them, They state of Florida quickly got back to me and said what do you mean you filed for adoption. I sent them the forms I had and sign and notarized and sent back. I didn't hear from them for 2 years and last year I get served to go take a paternity test. I took the test and two weeks later I got a call for a court date in mid 2012. I show up and of course with an attorney thinking I was the stuff because I signed all that stuff ad the mother openly admitted to never paying the attorney the rest of them money for the adoption, openly stated she never tried to contact me, Never tried to file for support, never asked for help or even bothered to look for me. openly admitted to all this in child support court over the phone that. The child judge still awarded her 26,000.00 in arrears, and 400 a month. This as destroyed my family. I had married and have 4 kids of my own and have a house to pay for, It is rough as my wife is going to school because at the time of this we thought it was ok, I didn't have any expenses or anything like that and no we are barely making it. I have since requested the transcripts for this and filed a case in district court to see if I can over turn the arrears. See in Oklahoma they put this stuff on your credit and it has stopped me from getting loans, caused my card balances to be lowered with out being told making my bill more and my insurance change price. Seriously? How is this right and I have no idea what to do at this point.
Unfortunately, the problem here is that you accepted what the attorney for the child's mother was telling you, and you never followed up to ensure that the adoption had actually gone through. Not doing that before is what is costing you now.

Note that retroactive support is possible through the state of Florida. At the time when child support is initially established, retroactive support may be established for the time period between the date the parents separated and the date that the child support order goes into effect. Or, if the parties separated more than twenty-four months prior to the filing of the action requesting child support, retroactive support may be established for a period starting twenty-four months prior to the date of filing through the date the child support obligation becomes effective. Your only saving grace might be that, depending on the timing of the support order, you may have been ordered to pay an excessive amount in retroactive support contrary to the limits of the statute.

Other than that, there really isn't much you can do except to ask the court for a modification of the current support order based on financial hardship. Those arrears will continue to accrue, along with statutory interest, while they remain unpaid. The statutory formula used for establishing child support, and the Courts do not generally take into consideration the parent's bills in calculating the amount of child support to be paid. Rather, law considers the child's needs to be paramount. However, where child support will result in the obligor parent living at a subsistence or poverty level, the Court may grant a deviation from the guidelines.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:04 PM   #3
jnsnams
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

The court ordered 5 years arrears. I live in Oklahoma and the child is in Florida. I knew Florida has a 2 year arrears and Oklahoma has 5. But since I live here they are doing the 5 Years. I took this to the director level of child support in the state of Oklahoma and they removed the interest from the arrear for now, but they are waiting fo the district court to answer on the arrears issue. last year alone the irs took 7,000.00 and sent it here and I didn't get anything from taxes. or my wife and we really needed the money for the kids for clothes and what not being unexpected this caused major issues.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:29 PM   #4
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

Though you might have been able to appeal the FL order that ship has sailed. Fair is a matter of perspective. I am certain your child needs food, clothing and shelter as much as the other 4. I suggest you or your wife get a second job until things are caught up.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:36 PM   #5
jnsnams
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

There was no Florida order? All the court actions have been in Oklahoma?

What a wonderful response by the way. My wife had nothing to do with this and she does not deserve to have to get a job or whatever over a conniving women that 13 years later wanted to file for child support.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:43 PM   #6
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

If it was in an OK court you have no recourse. She does not have 4 kids with you? This is not about a conniving woman. It is about accepting delayed responsibility for your decision to have sex and procreate several years ago. Instead of complaining your cup is almost half empty, you should consider it is more than half full. You apparently skated on 8 years of supporting your child.

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There was no Florida order? All the court actions have been in Oklahoma?

What a wonderful response by the way. My wife had nothing to do with this and she does not deserve to have to get a job or whatever over a conniving women that 13 years later wanted to file for child support.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:48 PM   #7
jnsnams
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

we only had one child I married and have 4 with my wife now. This is about a conniving woman. I didn't skate on anything I gave the child up for adoption and was never told any different. I have no issue with surrent support I have only a major issue with 26k in arrears that I was not aware of.

And I didn't skate on 13 years of support, she waited 13 years before ever even filing for support..13 years...and than all the sudden went and got support. Never said a word to me or my family that she didn't file the adoption.
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:35 PM   #8
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

Good luck with that theory. It might play in Peoria.
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:44 PM   #9
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Default Re: gave child up for adoption 13 years ago and now got a support order???

Unfortunately she didn't have to. Without more info that even you may not have it's impossible to know why things fell apart. Perhaps her marriage ended, or she lacked the funds to pay for the adoption.

You can request a modification but if you supplied your info it probably won't change. What Disagreeable was trying to say is that your wife is also obligated to the children you and she have together. If there's not enough to go around she may have to pick up the slack.

Every state reports delinquency to the credit agencies. You will be unable to travel on your passport also. Not that a trip through Europe is in the budget. They will take your income tax and if you fail to pay may suspend licenses, such as driving, hunting, etc.
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